I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
