What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
