it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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