so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't deserve a penis
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
me + whiskey = a bad person
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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