Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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