I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
