i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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