omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
