apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
