I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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