im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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