Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize