Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
