oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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