I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
