the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
