I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
