I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
