Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
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When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
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No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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