She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
