Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"

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  (712): Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me" http://tfl.nu/camp
  Replies (5) Good night (510) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

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  (734): cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink. (630): if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan. http://tfl.nu/ows1
  Replies (6) Good night (1304) Bad night (1512)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'

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  (410): i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary' http://tfl.nu/vbb1
  Replies (15) Good night (607) Bad night (2576)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher

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  (507):Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher http://tfl.nu/a6cj
  Replies (32) Good night (762) Bad night (2362)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Lol welcome to greek life

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  (727): if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now. (1-727): Lol welcome to greek life http://tfl.nu/i7uo
  Replies (43) Good night (843) Bad night (4139)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?

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  (631): Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up? http://tfl.nu/k005
  Replies (56) Good night (6544) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money

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  (317): Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina. (614): Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money http://tfl.nu/rx4e
  Replies (27) Good night (6766) Bad night (1394)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk

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  (949): hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk http://tfl.nu/17n5
  Replies (7) Good night (1201) Bad night (3760)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.

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  (443): Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that. http://tfl.nu/hvnx
  Replies (11) Good night (4586) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.

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  (918): He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things. http://tfl.nu/ox9y
  Replies (16) Good night (1178) Bad night (2886)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all

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  (321): Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all http://tfl.nu/j4ja
  Replies (8) Good night (1394) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever

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  (720): My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever http://tfl.nu/wkge
  Replies (6) Good night (3241) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  were you high?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  When?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  Actually just blanket yes to that question

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  (505): were you high? (1-505): When? (1-505): Actually just blanket yes to that question http://tfl.nu/yc7i
  Replies (2) Good night (1980) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.

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  (229): He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb. http://tfl.nu/1qwr
  Replies (5) Good night (1972) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming

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  (615): Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming http://tfl.nu/odmb
  Replies (4) Good night (1185) Bad night (301)

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