Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?

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(973): who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture? http://tfl.nu/e2ho

Replies (38) Good night (1360) Bad night (3618)
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(616): View more from Michigan

hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job

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(616): hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job http://tfl.nu/32u0

Replies (16) Good night (1263) Bad night (3145)
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(425): View more from Washington

its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"

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(425): its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks" http://tfl.nu/ax74

Replies (21) Good night (814) Bad night (4235)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!

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(864): After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?! http://tfl.nu/q1jx

Replies (17) Good night (1733) Bad night (4072)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.

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(575): She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary. http://tfl.nu/4ghz

Replies (18) Good night (4432) Bad night (1186)
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(817): View more from Texas

Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes

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(817): Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes http://tfl.nu/2z3z

Replies (44) Good night (1022) Bad night (4331)
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(850): View more from Florida

They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers

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(850): They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers http://tfl.nu/xy1w

Replies (9) Good night (1159) Bad night (2259)
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(443): View more from Maryland

When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.

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(443): When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain. http://tfl.nu/mvaw

Replies (6) Good night (2334) Bad night (1034)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)

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(602): Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...) http://tfl.nu/p4po

Replies (13) Good night (1073) Bad night (1841)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I feel like everything in this room is sweating

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(506): I feel like everything in this room is sweating http://tfl.nu/iaml

Replies (2) Good night (852) Bad night (1213)
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(586): View more from Michigan

My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.

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(586): My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage. http://tfl.nu/u2i7

Replies (5) Good night (2671) Bad night (663)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no

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(720): You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no http://tfl.nu/o8fg

Replies (3) Good night (2459) Bad night (689)
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(716): View more from New York

my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question

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(716): my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question http://tfl.nu/fvr6

Replies (7) Good night (649) Bad night (1037)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.

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(505): She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once. (1-506): Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring. http://tfl.nu/s5ra

Replies (7) Good night (2232) Bad night (502)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"

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(919): you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches" http://tfl.nu/j1kh

Replies (2) Good night (981) Bad night (481)

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