I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
