They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
