I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.