This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
