What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
