for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize