how can u be prego again
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
