You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
