We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
