im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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