This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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