smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My penis needs a shock collar
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
