i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
