Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
