He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize