Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
