So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
