One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
