ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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