? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
