all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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