he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
