Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
