just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
