She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
