Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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