You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
