while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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