when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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