are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
