im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
