FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is this like a preordered booty call?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm both gender and math confused
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize