if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What a dumb baby whore.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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