Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
