theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
