Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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