no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
