Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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