Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
