if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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